One day I had this idea to paint a painting for the divine feminine.
I was interested in the fact that there are female and male qualities on this earth and that we need both to be balanced.
Male qualities like being active, having visions, achievment are very much celebrated in our society. When someone reaches a goal or someone is the first in a race this is celebrated. It´s about winning, achieving...
female qualities are compassion, sensitivity, empathy, trust - more soft qualities. It´s obvious that we celebrate the male qualities in our society more.
Actually we often experience pain when we live our female qualities. "Don´t be so sensitive!", "Don´t trust or you get used.", "don´t be so emotional!"
What happens is that there is a collective wound and that we quite suffer from not having a balance between yin and yan...
As long as we value utility more than beauty there is no equality
A spiritual teacher says that the female is like the flower on this earth. Some people say flowers are useless and remove them from the garden. Beauty is valuable but we value utility more. We value mathematic more than creativity. As long as we value utility more than beauty there is no equality.
If we don´t value our female (yin) qualities we end up running after recognition, validation, achievement and become a lonely fighter.
I was there too... I was a lonely fighter not knowing I was fighting against myself or parts of myself. I had deep inner self doubt and I thought I need to proof I can do it all!! But then I woke up and started questioning why... Suddenly realizing that this all is a lie.
The female energy is so much needed in this world! Yes, in order to heal we need to first
heal our female part. The one that we abondoned because it was so painful to be hurt, used and left behind. We think we need to become harder and we identify so much with our achievments. I need to succeed alone, I need to do it all alone... There is a lot of pain and anger.
If we are in war with our female parts then we often meet other people that tell us that we are not ok with our sensitivity, feelings or emotionality.
When we embrace and integrate our female parts we are much more relaxed, have a better work life balance and we don´t think that we are only valuable if we bring certain achievements.
I realized that Integrating my female parts is a basement for every aspect of my life - profession, self realization, relationship...
Looking at an old unfinished painting
The idea for the painting came spontaneously by looking at an old unfinished painting. Suddenly I saw this woman that steps out of her drama, out of fighting her true nature by embracing the divine feminine in her.
I scetched before I started the painting. In my mind I saw a colourful painting with a standing woman and some organic patterns and birds. For the mixed media painting I used different brushes and papers such as Decopatch. I wanted to create some dirty effect (like colour that is running down) and used waterspray for that.
It was interesting that this painting that I left behind about a year before (because I really felt stuck and didn´t really have a vision for it)... when I resumed working on it later I suddenly felt this creative flow. I really liked to experiment with mixed media using different papers, painting over them and let something from the paper shine through.
Artists that inspired me
Klimt was for sure one inspiration with his patterns and organic forms and shapes that build a nice contrast to the figures in his paintings. Another artists that is very inspiring for me is Clare Galloway. She has a very unique voice. Art for her is a way to reveal what is really happening which is often subtly different to what the logic mind is surmising. She actually has an online school for art "The real school of Art". For more information go to her website https://clareartista.com/
The woman stands on a half circle. Behind her there is something like a coat with organic patterns. She has long hair and is a little bit like dancing. This woman trusts her inner wisdom and she has found confidence... Confidence with her female qualities. When you look over her right shoulder you can see a fencing person. This was her in the past when she was fighting against her own true nature, her female qualities. Now she kind of awakend as a woman embracing her female qualities. The Male and female qualities are balanced. She stands with two feet on the ground. The coat with the organic forms and shapes shows richness and harmony... there is richness in living her female qualities. She is connected with earth. She also has long hair which is a sign for loving all her female qualities like sensitivity, beauty, compassion...
Underneath on the half circle there is this poem:
A place to be
The tears I cried yesterday
Fighting was my way
Always thinking I am not enough
I have to succeed
Need to archieve
Do it all alone
And I closed the door when all I wanted is to open
and to trust and be without judgement
I wanted freedom,
And I fighted for it with a sword in my hand
I just saw the grain on the ground
And picked and pecked with defiance and anger
Until one day I lifted my head up to the sky
Suddenly seeing things with an eagle eye
I died before living
And I lived when I saw the beauty
In my integrity as a woman.
I am not the one who is never enough,
because I know I am enough.
I am walking out of drama back to earth.
Back to my true nature.
Returning to nature respects female quaities
The ones that we pushed away
thought it´s not ok because people walked with dirty feet on them
They kicked and jumped until we were falling on the ground
And I know I have strenghts you might not see as strenght.
But I am not fighting myself anymore
I am not trying to be more
To be more of what others tell me
There is beauty in variety
There is a land
There is a sea
I am sure there is a place to be
you and me
The chickens shows how she was seeing things in a very narrow way. Then she started to look at things from an eagle perspective and that helped her to realize why she was suffering and also to step out of the drama and stopped the war against herself.
The butterfly is a sign for transformation. This transformation is connected with her heart... When she started to love herself with her feminine qualities - that´s when she became a butterfly.
The butterfly lives in her center... This shows how balanced we become when our female and male qualities are equally valued.
This painting teached me that every painting has it´s time. Sometimes we get really unpatient or think we messed it all up. If we leave it for a while and turn to it later something unexpected might happen...
This painting may also be the starting point of a new series... There are ideas and I am looking forward to bring them on canvas...
This painting can be seen in a group exhibition of the Free Gallery Graz that starts on the 9th of January 2019 and ends on the 6th of February 2019. The middissage is on the 30iest of January.
Address: Café Erde, Andreas-Hofer-Platz 3, 8010 Graz